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The Log

The Log In order to reduce the size of this page all bar the last two weeks have been and will be shifted to the Archive01, Archive02, Archive03, Archive04, Archive05, Archive06, Archive07, Archive08.
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Persona, and other useful files, are as follows:
Luke Apprentice of Mentos Son of Amy - currently occupying an octahedron carried by the party.
Whizz aka Sir Magnifique - Gamemaster and uber nerd. He of the glowing, self repairing armour...
Amy aka Alexis - A nerdy but voluptous (i.e. short and chubby) and intelligent female with a massive chocolate addiction and with aspirations of being an author of a series of books involving talking unicorns. Once had a pet baby Kobold dubbed
Gwyfin - now deceased after becoming undead then being taken over by mad lummy. Alas poor noble Gwyfin.
Alex aka Hobbler the Throbbit - One-legged builder (even shorter and chubbier) with a nail gun fixation aka Gobbler, Kobbler, Ogbler,Hobbler and now Cookler, Sneakler, Woodler and Master Chef to Merrin.
Nate aka Innately Dangerous - Human wizard released from an Orc's cell in the Caves of Chaos. Probably unwisely, is now a follower of Merrin, thinking she was the goddess of unfettered power - the ends or means justify themselves.
Madras aka Moonbeam - A fairly well built closet geek, gave up target shooting for his gaming, still a gun nut
Jason - aka Lexx A slightly built marketing nerd with goatee. Was in coma in Christchurch Hospital after arguing with a fake cop pointing a handgun at his head, now back in action with IQ having dropped several points (well, he is a dwarf and he has been shot in the head).
Charles aka Sunbeam the Clumsy Elf - Charles Keith Grey the uber nerd Librarian
DrBob aka Ujiti - A tall, skinny man with shifty eyes in his early 40's, having only re-joined the regular gaming group a year ago after a ten year absence whilst working in Africa with Medicene Sans Frontiers. Likes strange roots, and recently changed faith from Hale to Merrin. Currently Mortally Challanged and favourite pick line is "So tell me, how do you feel about necrophillia?"
Sandie (Master Sargeant at Arms "Joe" Kruchek Killworthy) - Military person
Norm - A 'local', albeit reclusive West Coaster. Lives on in the family home after parents died. Had three gamer friends until they disappeared while on a 'recreational' hike. Could be Jason's twin, they look so alike. Now is the world's new Santa. May never been seen of again....
Luminatoria aka Mad Lummy/Mad Klummy - Young (28) girly swot, slightly misanthropic, many PHD's and degrees. Was invited on a picnic by "Gary" at a book reading organised by her Womens Club. Died but resurected into the corpse of Gwyfin, and then into John the Techno Paladin, and after getting more and more annoyed with the party final left by plane shifting to places unknown.
TheBard (Will) - Strange singer/sackbutt player with a resonant, deeply melancoly voice - dead.
John - Techno Palidin (NPC). Rescued from Doom realm only to be displaced from his body by Mad Lummy into a Sponge Finger - dead.John - Sponge Finger (NPC). Died whilst being force feed to Hobbler - dead.
Gary aka Elbereth (Owl Breath) - Uber Nerd/Power Gamer - RIP (Resting In Pieces) - Died after a fight with a battle experienced Orc. Discovered in "real life" you don't get to win the argument with the GM about the rule that they used that killed you.
Gygax Letters.

Treasure 4 March Net financial position for each character - including magical item list & distribution

19 May

With the successful disabling of one of the five know outposts Hobbler is sent inwards to investigate the main clearing. The main clearing is about 50m from the outpost and is about 100m in diameter. The clearing has obviously been made larger recently there is clear evidence of trees being chopped down and the set into the ground with sharpened ends pointing outwards, located in the centre are two small shacks and near the outer edge 5 largish tents. Wandering around the camp is a mixture of about 30 or so Bahn mercenaries and playing cards.

Hobbler reports back to the party and the decision is made to pick of the remaining outpost rather than risk attacking the main camp. The next outpost is scouted out and found to contain three playing cards (5 clubs, Queen of Hearts and King of Spades).

The Bishop accompanying the party is quizzed as to the particular strengths and weaknesses of playing cards in general. “Well, the higher the value the tougher they are and Picture cards, the queens are spells casters and the Kings fighters and the general idea is don’t mess with them as they are nasty.”

“What about weapons, what are they venerable to?” asks Sandie.

“Slashing mainly, crushing and stabbing doesn’t effect them much.” Is the reply.

“On well, looks like I’ll be sitting the fight out” mutters Moonbeam looking at his mace.

No sooner that these words are spoken Moonbeam hears Grisms voice. “’Sitting this fight out’ are you. I grow tired of waiting Moonbeam. Show Me that you are worthy of Me or I shall remove of your spells permanently. Impress Me and I shall reward you.”

“I think we stick with our original plan of a Silence, Hold person and a sleep spell followed by a mass charge” says Whizz, “however to be on the safe side a small diversion to once side would be useful.”

Amy then send a projected image of herself to one side of the cards and once they are distracted and start taking pot-shots at the image the plan is then executed with the addition of a fireball care of Amy (who gets doubly lucky as the ka-whomph of the explosion is absorbed by the silence spell and there is no flammable material in the immediate vicinity.

The 5 clubs falls to the Hold person spell and is crisped by the fireball and shortly after the Queen and King fall to the weapons of Whizz, Sandie and Moonbeam.

“Well that was easy lets hit the next outpost.” Says Sandie

As the party make there way to the next outpost Whiz encounters the planar energy disturbance he felt earlier a quick bit of estimating indicates that the plane of energy disturbance will pass through the two shacks in the centre of the clearing.

The next outpost is found to contain five Bahn mercenaries, and as before a silence and hold person spell are cast. One to the mercenaries slumps to the ground as three others jump to their feet facing the party and the fifth does a runner back towards the main encampment.

With a cry of “¡Ándale! ¡Ándale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba!” Hobbler explodes into action and races after the fleeing mercenary and manages to get in two vicious stabs as the mercenary breaks into he clearing screaming for help.

Meanwhile back at the outpost the mercenaries put up a valiant defence but are outnumbered and decapitated within a few seconds of fighting. “Quick grab the heads and run for it” says Dr Bob, “Righto” replies Amy and she remove the held mercenaries head.

The party then does a runner for a half km or so away from the clearing. “Good thinking Dr Bob, taking the heads will cause fear amongst the remaining mercenaries” says Whizz, “yeah and I’ve got my lunch sorted as well.” Replies Dr Bob.

The decision is made to hole up and to pick of any scouting parties. After an hour’s wait a curious sound is heard nearby - a strange whiffling and burbling noise. “Ho crap” mutters Lexx everybody freeze it’s the Jabberwocky.”

“Hey Moonbeam” whispers Hobbler “now’s you chance to impress Grisim, attack the Jabberwocky,” a reply along the lines of “screw that” is whispered back. The party keep deathly still until the Jabberwocky has passed by.

Shortly the sound of an alarm bell can be heard in the distance followed by discordant Bagpipe playing.

Another hour passes peacefully until Hobbler, on watch, catches sight of two Bahn mercenaries skulking through the undergrowth. A series of rapid hand signals are made and Whiz and Sunbeam simultaneously rise and fire crossbows both catching the Bahn mercenaries in the head. After a minute or so of whispering it is decided that Hobbler should be sent to see if they are still alive.

On arriving at where they were seen to fall it is obvious that they are alive, if wounded as there is a trail of blood heading back towards the main camp. Hobblers sneak of in pursuit and deals with them.

“You know” says Amy, “if we had some bag pipes we could scare of the jabberwocky as well, I bet with the stomach and intestines from these corpses we could fashion and set of bag pipes.”

“I think you’re right” says Dr Bob, “and we could use the femur and humerus as the pipes.”

“And we could use the vocal cords in the mouth piece” adds Amy.

The party wait some more and gradually later afternoon approaches and nothing happens. “Looks like we may have to investigate” suggest Nate.

The party then make their way around to the North of the camp and find that the warning outposts have been abandoned. In the main clearing the five tents have been relocated closer to the two shacks and guards can be seen patrolling and on active watch.

After watching for half an hour or sound of a bell can be heard ringing from on of the further tents can be heard ringing. Moments later Moon, wearing black watch tartan and a chain mail kilt is seen to exit one of the huts and start playing the bagpipes.

“Let’s go and see the jabberwocky. If I can get a clear view then I can create an illusion of it” says Amy, “righto” replies Dr Bo b and Moonbeam as they head in the direction of the whiffling.

“You know I reckon I could take out those bagpipes with a cross bow bolt” says Sunbeam. Moments later he, Lexx, Nate and Hobbler head round to find a better vantage point.

Sunbeam lines up his shot on the bagpipes, “Ok lets see need to allow for a slight cross breeze and cool air” and fires. The gem tipped crossbow bolt flies through the air and impacts on Mooners helmet. “Hmmmm, gravity must be a fraction lower here.” Mutters Sunbeam

The bolt explodes in a miniature fireball and destroys the mouthpiece of the pipes. Silence falls, but not for long as the jabberwocky bounds into the clearing and starting ripping into cards and people. Mooner draws a large bastard sword and starts singing something scottish as he charges the Jabberwocky.

Whizz looks at the combat and says “It’s time like this that you really need to know whom you can trust and who’s guarding your back.”

“Damn right” replies Sandies, currently Whizz’s sole companion.

26 May

As Mooner move towards the jabberwocky the party spot the unmistakable shimmer of a glove of protection thrown up around Mooner. "Now the hell did he cast that whilst wielding a bastard sword if what I want to know." mutters Nate.

As Mooner and the Jabberwocky start trading blows about 15 Bahn Mercenaries and 15 Playing Cards charge to join fight.

"Last one fighting’s a sissy." calls Moonbeam as he charges out of the clearing and takes on a bunch of playing cards. Two Kings and 5 and a 3 of Clubs by himself - in Grisms words "Brave, but stupid."

"You a sissy?" Amy asks Dr Bob, "Yup, you?", "Damn right!". Dr Bob and May then skulk in the Bushes picking there moment when to attack.

Meanwhile on the far side of the clearing the party see the back of the enemies and do what comes naturally and start picking of the stragglers with some well placed cross bow bolts.

The crossbow bolts are noticed by one group and they turn back to engages Sandie and Whizz. Meanwhile at another part of the clearing Nate, Lexx, Hobbler and Sunbeam start in pursuit of four Bahn Mercenaries whom are heading towards one of the shacks are are unaware that they are being chased.

They enter the shack about 50' ahead of them. Hobbler (aka Speedy Gonzales) is first through the door and spies the back of a Mercenary screaming into a crystal ball "Help, Help we are under attac.. ughh", his call is cut off abruptly as Hobbler rapier (and given this is Hobbler it is worth pointing out that we are not talking metaphorically here) enter one end of him and exists the other. "no, no big mistake everything’s fine." yells Hobbler into the ball (catching a startled glimpse of Drummy for a split second) before throwing it against the far wall wear it shatters beautifully.

As he is doing this Nate, Sunbeam and Lexx barrel past into the adjoining room seeking the other three Mercenaries. The room (a bedroom) is empty of people but here is a large wardrobe on the far wall and the doors are slowing swinging shut. "To the wardrobe." scream Less has he charges into it quickly followed by Nate and Sunbeam. They emerges into winter wonderland - with quite deep snow. Wading through the snow as fast as they can go are the Bahn Mercenaries. Two fireballs a cross bow bolt and thrown dagger later and there are three smouldering corpses in the snow.

"Hmm, this explains the Turkish delights we found previously." says Lexx.

Meanwhile back at Amy and Dr Bob by dint of some carefully skulking Amy manages to line up two groups of Cards and plugs them with a lightning bolt. In response the Queen of Heart standing at the rear turns and starts spell casting in her and Dr Bobs direction. Her spell is disrupted by a timely magic missile and then by Dr Bob sword. The combat between her and Dr Bob is painful to watch as they are both seriously crap fighters.

From Amies viewpoint shes spies that the Jabberwocky has taken a large amount of damage and will soon be dead (thus freeing up Mooner and a number of Mercenaries to take on the party) and decide to take what can only be described as drastic action. First casting invisibility she then grabs three suppositories of healing rushes out and "fists" the Jabberwocky.

A highly started burble echoes through the clearing.

Back at the shack Lexx and co scout round to see if there are any enemy encampment in the immediate vicinity (there aren't) and head back tot he clearing leaving Sunbeam on guard in the shack.

Moonbeam meanwhile has taken down two of the Cards (the King and the three) before an impressive blow almost servers his right leg and Moonbeam goes down.

As this is happening Whizz and Sandy take on Mooner whom is very hard to hit to says the least. One solid blow from Whizz gets through before Amy sneaks up a drops a lightening bolt at very close range (so close Whizz gets hit in the backlash), Sandies in a moment of desperation try a leg sweep and get very lucky and manages to cause Mooner to trip. As Mooner is on the ground Whizz and Sandies start dealing blows as best they can and these in combination with Amies magic missile are sufficient to render him unconscious. See this the remaining fighters turn and flee.

Of the fleeing fighters Lexx takes one down with a good cross bow shot and Hobbler fascinates the other whom are clubbed unconscious so they can be sacrificed to the Reckna necklace.

With its primary foe defeated the Jabberwocky turns it attention to Whizz and pauses in it's attack as it sniffs. A quizzical look (that or constipation due to Amies "fisting") passes over its face. Whizz slowly lowers his sword and raises his visor as he does so the Jabberwocky bounds forward and licks him with a tongue the size of a towel.

Whizz cautiously reaches forward and scratches it under the chin, the immediate response is for the Jabberwocky to flip onto it back to have its tummy scratched.

"Dear Yugo, think of the experience " mutter Sandies as he see the prone and defenceless Jabberwocky.

Whiz keeps the jabberwocky placated by scratching and feeding it tidbits supplied by Dr Bob (fresh liver, kidney etc).

TODO
Mooner searched
Vorpal Baster sword - claimed by Lexx
Six rings three with burnt out gems three with gems intact (similar to gems on exploding cross bow bolts)
Two shallow graves found near shacks
Party rest up in Mooners shack

2 June

At the aftermath of the slaughter of the cards and mercenaries Lexx has a play with the Vorpal Sword he finds a small spike (bloodstained) located where his thumb would normally reside. By pressing his thumb on the spike he finds that one of the three gems on the pommel of the sword (that are linked to the runes engraved on the sword) glow and by the application of will can make the sword either extremely accurate, fast or damaging.

"I think that for you to be able to access more than one power at a time you may need to be of royal blood as the sword was owned by a Queen" says Nate

"Or female" add Amy

"I may be able to help with one of those" adds Dr Bob

Also much discussion revolves around what Hobbler saw in the crystal ball before he smashed it against the wall. All that he can recall was Drummy wearing a surprised expression and a bikini (though the later may have been due to his overactive imagination). Unfortunately nobody in the party has the skill of mesmerism.

The party retire to the Dee’s shack and a rune of regeneration is cast on Moonbeams leg and Hobblers buttocks.

As party rests there is a bingley beep noise from the octahedron and Luke is released (after Amy and her chocolate is locked out of the room).

Luke appears (still dressed as an Ewok) and looks around the room hopefully. "Greeting, your are nearing the source of the machine, I can tell you it is beyond this transition point and 12.53 Km on a bearing of 185 degrees, and that time will be running about 4.24 time faster than the main world line)."

"Can you do anything for Moonbeam" asks Whizz

"Well strictly speaking it’s breaking the rules but given the multiverse is at stake what the hey. Lower him into the octahedron after me." Says Luke as he steps back into the cone of light emanating from the octahedron.

Moonbeam is unceremoniously pushed in after him and after a space of five minutes reappears and his leg has fully regenerated and about a week worth of beard growth is showing.

Moonbeam tells the party that from his point of view a week has passed (most of which he spent unconscious) and that it appears Luke can control the flow of time inside the octahedron.

The party then rest up and it is about three hours later a scratching noise is heard from the wardrobe.

"Hello, is any body out there?" Calls a timorous voice.

After some negotiations the doors are opened and a Faun (Toby) is let into the room. He tells the party that a group of humans (the Bahn mercenaries) entered Narnia about four weeks ago and that the land is in the control of the white witch (whom hasn’t been seen for about five weeks).

Amy contemplates faunication.

The party learn that there is a rebel force lead by Ekrand De Havelin (a talking unicorn) and that Aslan has been dead for a good few hundred years. He agrees that to come back in a few hours, once the party has rested, and lead them to Ekrand.

The party rest up some more and indeed after five hours Toby reappears and leads them through the wardrobe into Narnia.

The party walk for about twenty minutes when the figure of a young faun is spotted (whom waves to them). "That’s my son." Explains Toby.

Sandies at the rear of the party surreptitiously loads a cross bow and keeps a beady eye on the young faun. As the party gets closer the faun makes a snowball and lobs it at Lexx.

There is a sharp crack as the snowball impact on Lexx and a ball of icy cold embraces him. Toby dive for cover and Sandies puts a cross bow bolt through the eyes of the young faun whom slumps to the gound.

Simultaneously either side of the party six figures rise out of the snow four militant looking fauns and two large Minotaurs

A rather brutal and messy combat takes place and at the end of it the enemy like scattered (some in pieces) around the party, but Dr Bob is on negative hit points c/o acting as a human shield to the Amy and Nate, Sunbeam is on negative hit points c/o a suicidal faun (exploding amulet), Amy, Nate, Whizz and Moonbeam on about 30% hit points c/o cross bow bolts and the Minotaurs double handed battle axes (very tough) and Lexx is on about 40% on about 30% hit points c/o general combat.

The corpses of the enemy are searched and two more snowball grenades are found. What is also found is that the young faun (an illusion) is actually a four-foot tall version of Mad Lummy.

"You can’t tell me that she’s natural" says Amy point at the mad Lummy corpse, "look the skin is perfect, no blemishes whatsoever and there is no way those are natural – look no sag whatsoever" the corpse is given a swift kick. "Bitch, we need to do something suitably degrading to her." Says Amy looking thoughtfully at the Minotaur corpses.

"I’m on it" says Hobbler.

"Oh dear god Hobbler, that’s just wrong!" exclaims Whizz, "stop that right now!" he demands.

"Hang on" replies Hobbler hands on hips, "you have no problem with Dr Bob indulging in cannibalism and eating brains but as soon as I start a bit of innocent necrophilia you get all high and mighty. She’s not even human or real!" he swings round and lifts up the corpse "see, no belly button."

"Hey, wasn’t Mad Lummy, and therefore Drummy, into cloning and suchlike?" asks Lexx.

"Od dear god and army of Mad Lummys doesn't bear thinking about" mutters Hobbler.

The party start to retreat to the wardrobe as they do a warm glow comes over Moonbeam ("Don’t eat the yellow snow guys") as he realises that Grism is pleased with him as knowledge on how the exploding gemmed cross bow bolt heads and the gems on Mooners rings were made to store spells.

"Say Whizz, can you sense Vull", some extra people doing some of the healing would be useful asks Lexx.

"Well I've had no luck so far but I can try" replies Whizz as he grabs his Holy symbol and prayers to Vull.

"Well thats ... interesting" Whizz says.

10 June

The party struggles back through the snow to the portal and back into the shack. Taking stock of the damage to the party it looks like Moonbeam will have a couple of two to three days of healing ahead of him.

"Hey, how about we see if Luke can fit us all inside the Octahedron and heal us quickly. We can't really afford a few days sitting round as that deadline I think is creeping up on us" says Lexx.

'It's unlikely he'll do it again as I got the impression last time was a special case." says Whizz

Numbers are punched into the octahedron and moments later Luke appears. "Let me guess" he says looking at the wounded and unconscious party members "you want me to heal you. As I said last time last time it was breaking the rules to heal Moonbeam and I'm sorry to say .."

"I'm hurt" interrupts Amy

".. that it looks like the rules are going to have to be broken again." continues Luke.

All wounded members are then placed within the Octahedron (with Amy arriving last) leaving Sandie and Hobbler outside. As Amy arrives into the octahedron she finds the wounded party members all unconscious and stacked in what could only be construed as amusing positions.

"Oh dear" says Luke to Amy "looks like my stunner has run out of power and you'll have stay conscious for the whole week in here."

"Let me see if I can fix it, Chocolate?" offers Amy.

Over the week Luke tells her of his life as an apprentice time agent and how he was a bit surprised the Mentos chose him over the other more experienced time agents. "But then I think Mentos sees me as the son he never had" explains Luke "he calls me his 'Little Wunderkind', he also especially said that I should make contact with you Amy, as you would look after me, and indeed, you have."

The week or so for Amy passes pleasantly as she explores the confines of the octahedron and finds the swimming pool, sauna etc and 'looks after' Luke.

The party are then returned to the Shack (where only twenties minutes passed) Amy looking well groomed and relaxed and the rest looking scruffy with a week’s plus growth of facial hair.

"So how was it" asks Sandie.

"Luke truly is my 'Little Wunderkind'" says Amy.

With the party fully healed they once again head out only pausing at the site of combat to try and cover the bodies with snow. On the basis that the terrain is identical to that in Wonderland the party follow the reverse of the path that took them from the castle to the Dee and Dums shack. After an hour’s slogging through the snow the scouts hear the noise of fauns talking and creaking wood.

Sneaking forward they spy three fauns as scouts and two Minotaur’s dragging a cage of a sledge. The cage contains about 15 beavers.

Hobbler and Lexx skulk back to the party and announce "Hey guys, there's heaps of beaver across the ridge."

"Wohhoooo"

"Not that kind of Beaver"

The party sneak forward and based on the assumption that fauns are bad and beavers are good they plan their attack. To ensure that there will be no nasty surprises Amy takes a closer look at each individual and spots that the lead faun is wearing a suicide amulet.

The party attack with a fireball to the Minotaur’s and exploding crossbow bolt and another fireball onto the suicide faun. The faun goes down the Minotaur’s look annoyed.

"Opps" mutter Nate as he casts a second fireball on the rapidly approaching Minotaur’s. One drops and the other takes on Whizz who parries blow and lets Moonbeam finish him off.

Meanwhile Lexx has charged down the slope to take on the remaining faun who nicely distracts from Hobbler diving under the sledge and getting in a sneak attack. With the opposition dealt with the beavers are freed. Amy rushes forward and asks.

"Is it true that there's a talking Unicorn called Ekrand?"

"Why yes" replies the spokesbeaver "he's the leader of the resistance."

"We have to talk to the resistance they might have valuable information about Drummy and the castle." demands Amy.

The rest of the party agree and snowshoes are obtained from the beaver and the party head round the mountain for about 10km towards the resistance's secret hideout. Throughout the trip Amy dances ahead of the party and there is a constant stream of "I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to screw a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn I am going to see a talking unicorn " As the cave entrance hide-out comes into sight Whizz says "I know we've followed this beaver through snow for the last five hours but just to be safe I think we should get 'Honourable Intent' cast on him."

The spell is cast and indeed the beaver intent is honourable. The beaver hurries ahead of the party and has a hurried conversation with a couple of very large well armed bears whom are guard the entrance.

The party are lead into an ante-chamber and are asked to remove all weapons and magical items, all (apart from Nate of course) agree. Party members are then taken one at a time to an adjoin room wear a search is carried out with the aid of a detect magic wand. Hobbler goes first and his various runes trigger the wand.

"If you want to see Ekrand you'll need to wear this." says a guard pulling out a metal chastity belt. A similar thing happens with Sandie and the runes on his arm.

Amy rune of alertness and thong of charisma are deemed to be of no potential offensive value and are allowed to pass. "You know I think this thong needs to be checked out" she says to the Beaver "possibly in the next room." Amy and the Beaver wander of and shortly afterwards the sounds of the beaver tail rapidly slapping the floor can be heard, and then Amy and the beaver return, "she’s clean, Next" calls the beaver.

Then Whizz enters the room.

The wand is passed over Whizz and reacts to the plate in his stomach. "What's that" demands the Beaver carrying out the searching. "Nothing to worry about I assure you" says Whizz. "We'll be the judge of that, now where’s that jar of goose grease."

"I'll just wait in the ante-chamber with Nate." says Whizz sidling towards the door. Whizz's sidle is stopped by the two large guard bears.

"Oh, this not going to be pretty" mutters Amy "Whizz won't stand for a cavity search."

"You’re right" says Hobbler "he's not standing for it, he's bent over a chair. Ohh that gotta smart" he adds as Whizz is fisted by one of the grizzlies "you could say it’s unbearable."

Once the security procedures are completed the party is escorted by the tow Grizzly Bears through to meet Ekrand the Talking Unicorn. Ekrand is a truly magnificent beast (with a charisma that exceed Dr Bobs) and for some reason Moonbeam attends meeting attired in white and has a circlet of daisy's in his hair.

"Greetings I am Ekrand De Havelin" announces the Unicorn, "but my friend call me ... Randy" he adds eyeing up Amy.

"So" Sunbeam asks "is it true about Unicorns and virgins, cause if it is the we got ya one" he adds as he pushes Moonbeam forward.

One of the grizzly bear looks on in sudden interest.

"Correct me if I am wrong, but .. that’s a male isn't it." asks Sunbeam, "Well, technically yes" replies Sunbeam.

"I am a virgin!" pipes up Amy.

There is a stunned silence. Whizz pulls out a notebook and flips through a few pages. "Ah here we are - according to my records Amy has had sexual congress with gnomes, humans, gnomes, elves, gnomes, goblins, Manticores and a Beaver and has give birth twice, though admittedly the first one, Merrin, was a virgin birth."

"Ummm, but there no unicorns on that list are there?" queries Amy

"Well no"

"So technically I'm a Unicorn Virgin."

Errands’ ears prick up.

The rest of meeting with Ekrand goes smoothly. A few items of note are discussed.

Firstly that the castle on the Mountain top is identical to all intensive purposes to the one the party cleared out in Wonderland.
Secondly that the location of the cave entrance where the party gained access to the castle is the site of a group of distorted beings. The beings are described as all being a mixture of half human half lizard, half human half ape (Neanderthals?) and a humanoid body with spider legs. All of them bearing the likeness of Mad Lummy/White Witch. Ekrand sent an envoy of a couple of beavers to try and make contact with the group and the survivor reported that they are hostile and call themselves "The rejected ones".
Thirdly a representative (Eddie-Sue) of a tribe of banjo playing Humans living on the other side of the mountain were recently invited to a peace conference at the castle and haven't been seen since. Eddie-Sue being slightly brighter than the average tribe member didn't enter the castle but stayed out of sight and watched the tribe enter the castle. She reports that Drummy was wearing black leather thigh boots, chainmail bikini, large yellow fur skin cloak with high furry collar, rings, metal wristbands and a glowing green crystal pendant. She was also covered in tattoos/runes (later identified to be the same as Sandies armour).
Fourth that the White Witch must still be alive or else winter would have ended.

And last but not least

Moonbeam, female bear, honey, furball - nuff said

Amt gets a present from Ekrand - a small riding crop made from the finest faun skin.

Party get scroll with rune on it. Activating rune will trigger the ringing of a bell held by Ekrand's forces (Which will then attack the castle 30 minutes later to act as a distraction).

Party head off towards the cave of the rejected ones.

17 June

As the party head towards the cave of the Rejected Ones Hobblers wanders over to Moonbeam and asks "So a bear, how was it?, Moonbeam looks around and leans down to Hobblers and whispers "SIX nipples!". Hobbler returns of look of pure envy and admiration. He then next wanders over to Amy.

"So, can we expect to see a little Uniwok or Ewokorn in the next nine months?" he asks.

"No, I think two children.." starts Amy

"and a litter of goblins" adds Hobbler

".. is more than enough for me. " replies Amy.

"I wonder what ever happened to your second child." muses Dr Bob.

"So, Moonbeam what spells did you store in gems last night?" asks Nate.

"Well, none actually - don't think we'll need them, Drummy won't be that tough, and it would use up some of the permanent power points in the necklace which we may need later." replies Moonbeam.

The party get with about 2km of the cave entrance and start sneaking forward with Hobbler and Lexx at the front.

A quick bit of scouting reveals a clearing in front of the cave entrance. Around the cave entrance are half a dozen Neanderthal versions of Mad Lummy and to the immediate left is a large ice carving of Drummy. The standard options are discussed.
1 charge and attack
2 illusion of a sexy male Neanderthal
3 pretending to be Drummy with an escort
4 send in Hobbler and his fascinator and blinder
5 try and bluff their way through

Whilst the party is sitting round discussing options it is noticed that Whizz's armour has started to slowly repair itself. "Vull are your there?" prays Whizz. He gets an immediate and very strong response. "It's Vull but not as I know him" says Whizz, "he feels, childish, small minded, petty even. Not lets see if I have any powers. In Vulls name let me detect Evil!" intones Whizz, "Woo hoo it works I get blips from Hobbler and Sunbeam."

Option 4 is chosen.

"Hmmm, it looks like we have a small, and I use that word in it's fullest meaning, problem." says Sunbeam as he watches Hobbler prepare.

"Well, i can't help, It's bloody cold." complains Hobbler.

"Here let me see what I can do" volunteers Amy applying what looks like goose grase to the afflicted member.

"OH DEAR GOD" screams Hobbler.

"Possible a tad to much tiger balm" mutters Amy.

After a few minutes Hobblers heads off with his fascinator at full blast. The Neanderthal Lummys stare on and one is fascinated the other start hooting what sounds like "Betrayed, kill the betrayed." and start charging.

Hobbler does a quick 180 and flips up the tea towel wrapped around his waist to give them an eyeful of the buttocks of blinding. One start staggering in circles but the rest close the gap rapidly as Nate and Amy cast fireball. A couple of cross bow bolts later and the remain singed bodies hit the snow at the parties feet.

The fascinated survivor is interrogated. Unfortunately during the interrogation the fascination snap and Hobbler is backhanded in flung throw the air and hits the ground in an unconscious ball. Suffice to say that the fascinator will be out of action for a good few days.

The remaining blinded survivor is interrogated (and drugged with a combination mushroom spores and Amy now dwindling supplies of chocolate). Before being snuffed by Sandies whilst playing "Horsie".

The party learn that they all have Lummies memories and as such hate the party (something to do with a coffee enema amongst other things) and that there is a large spider Lummy in the caves and that deeper in the caves the caves are blocked by a solid wall of ice.

The spider Lummy is located deep in the cave and is taken down with the minium of fuss care of a couple of the precious exploding cross bow bolts and fireballs. With the spider dead Amy and Dr Bob carefully extract what venom they can. A short distance forward a solid 1m thick wall of ice is found to block the passageway. The fighters start to vigorously hack at it until Amy plays a hunch that it a magically created wall of ice and brings the anti-magic rune into close vicinity whereby the wall slowly fades away.

Another half k or so of walk sees the party locate the area below the trap door in the torture chamber. The trapdoor, as was in wonderland, is about 20’ above floor level. Various devise arguments break out as to whom was meant to bring the 20’ pools.

Eventually it is decided that Lexx and Amy should levitate (c/o the last of the levitate grease and a spell) up to the trapdoor. They do so and can hear the sound of very large footsteps waling around the room. Amy carefully scratches against the trap door on the hope that somebody will be gullible enough to open it to see what causing the noise. They aren’t.

Amy then knocks on the door and calls out “Can you open the door please. I’m stuck down here”. The trapdoor is slowly dragged open with the person opening it standing behind the trapdoor.

As Amy rise over the lip of the trapdoor she finds herself face to face with an 8’ tall version of Mad Lummy reaching out to grab her.

A swipe of the riding crop and a seriously bad power role for Big Mad Lummy sees Big Mad Lummy as Amy servant. The rest of the party are quickly bought up.

The area is scouted out and the Red Queen and the White Witch (both Mad Lummy variants) are found in cells. The Red Queen is freed and White Witch recruited. In what was previously the old storeroom and large stone arch is found which is powered by a solid beam of energy feeding from a hole in the roof. Amy identifies this as the Mad Lummy converter.

At the top of the arch a small vial of blood is found to be recessed within hole. A quick swap of the blood for Whizz sees the Mad Lummy converted to another Whizz.

24 June

The party decide to rest up so the mages can get back spells and hopefully grab and convert some guards when they come down the stairs.

Prior to resting up Moonbeam figures out one of Mooners rings has a lot of healing cast into it, and stores an uber-berserk spell in a gem and gives it to Lexx, Amy casts a permanent convincing illusion on Big Whizz

Party rests up and waits until the two guards make an appearance. As they rest Whizz finds himself having a strange dream. He is running around the castle above playing hide and seek with various Mad Lummies. From his perspective the castle and Mad Lummies all seem to be a lot larger than he remembers (part of him realises that he is seeing the castle from a small boys point of view). The dream fades in and out with him finding a hiding place behind a large glowing sparkly green sphere and then he finds himself sitting on Drummies lap being feed Turkish delights. Drummy pats him on the head and says “Now run along Vull, Mummy's got work to do.” Whizz wakes up abruptly at this point.

As Whizz ponders the dream (and the feeling of great maternal love slowly fades) he recalls various aspects of the location of Drummy. She was sitting in the great hall in front of a lage table. On one corner of the table sat a crystal ball and the table was covered in plans and maps (showing the surrounding lands and inter-dimensional stress and energy lines)

Drummy herself was wearing a Lion skin (Aslan?) cloak, chain mail bikini (even though the room was very cold), metal wrist bands with the monogram W.W. engraved in them, a glowing green crystal pendant and various rings. Also in the room where at least four large Mad Lummy guards carrying crossbows.

“Right W.W. should give us an idea as to who was the previous owner of those armbands.” Says Whizz, “any suggestions?”

“Wonder Woman!” exclaims Moonbeam.

Whizz give him the look usually reserved for slow children, elderly people and Sandy he says “Don’t be silly! have been eating Dr Bob’s special cookies again.”

“How about the White Witch” says Amy

“Nope, not mine” volunteers the White Witch.

“Time to summon Luke as we really need to know everything we can” says Whizz. As always Amy is shuffled out of the room and the numbers are punched into the Octahedron.

Luke appears, and is dressed in the silvery unitard (not as an Ewok) and looks less than happy.

“Why the long face?” asks Sandies. “How could she!” exclaims Luke “we spent a whole week together and she called me her 'Little Wunderkind' and no sooner than she left me she was in the hands of a Beaver AND a Unicorn.”

“Well, strictly speaking she wasn’t in their hands, more like paws and hooves.” Replies Sandy.

‘You’re not helping matters” says Dr Bob

“And a whole week” says Whizz, “most of her conquests are lucky to last a day. She must have really liked you.”

‘Again - not helping matters” says Dr Bob

“Don’t care” is the sullen response “Mentos was wrong when he said I should seek her out as she would look after me. Any way – what do you want” is the reply.

Whizz explains what he saw in the dream and Luke identifies the armbands as indeed being Wonder Woman’s and by the strange energy signature that he is picking up the green crystal pendant as being Green Kryptonite.

Luke then disappears back in to the Octahedron and the party wait another couple of hours till the replacement guards turn up. Big Whizz (disguised as a Mad Lummy) greats then and direct them to follow him/her. Which they do and as he turn the corner in the cells he dives to the floor as the White Which hits them with a cone of cold to disable them.

The big Mad Lummy is disabled (as she goes below zero hit points) and the normal sized Mad Lummy is turned into a corpsicle. “Opps, my bad” says the White Witch.

The Big Mad Lummy is pushed through the converter and then healed.

Once eight hours have passed “We really need a few more before we try and take on Drummy.” Announces Whizz, Whizz and Whizz and Big Whizz heads up stairs and finds a small Mad Lummy. “Hello Sister” greets Whizz.

“Hiya, how are things going” responds mad Lummy

“Great, have you had the latest power up?” Whizz asks. “What’s that?” the small Mad Lummy asks “Well, Drummy has made some improvements to the converter. Tell you what do want see if I can sneak you through.” Asks Whizz, “Yes please.”

Minutes matter the party now has a four foot tall Whizz.

“I think we really need to start planning an attack on Drummy” says Sandies “if only because I can’t stand having any more Whizz about.”

There is muttered agreement on this matter. “You are agreeing we need to attack Drummy, not that there are to many Whizz’s” the Whizz asks.

After a considered silence. “Yes, of course is the reply.”

The plans are laid with the party being split into four groups, three under the aegis of invisibility and the fourth to hide behind a booby-trapped door. The scroll of remote bell ringing is activated and the party wait for what feels like 25 minutes (on the basis that Ekrand and co will attack the castle as a distraction at the 30 minute mark) before starting their attack.

“You know guys we’re about to take on Drummy. This is serious ‘put your head between your knees and kiss your arse goodbye’ time” says Sandie.

There’s a moments silence and then.

“Oh dear god Sunbeam, it’s just an expression” exclaims Whizz.

Lexx, Hobbler lead by the White Witch make their way to a secret door at the rear of the great hall, Sandy and Nate to the other tower and up to the eastern balcony, Dr Bob, Amy and Sunbeam up the first tower to the western balcony and the various Whizzs and Moonbeam hide behind suicide amuleted booby trapped ground floor tower door.

The plan goes well until the party realise that the baloneys are occupied by a couple of Mad Lummies (so much for scouting out the terrain). The two Mad Lummies a dispatched quiet but messily. The secrete door is slowly opened from the outside and the party members on the balconies launch their attack at Drumy and Drummy alone

• Amy blows all of her power in one uber magic missle
• Dr Bob uses the wand of magic missliles
• Sunbeam fires an exploding cross bow bolt
• Nate casts a fireball.

At the last possible second Drummies arms flicker and the missiles impact on the Wonder Woman bracelets (opps) and she is engulfed in small and large fireball. The runes tattooed or he body flare and she comes out unscathed.

The response is for Drummy to activate one of the spells stored in a ring and place a wall of ice across the western balcony. Amy and Sunbeam react quickly and jump backwards and start downstairs. Dr Bob isn’t as fast and finds his right arm encased in ice.

Meanwhile on the eastern balcony Nate peers over the ledge and spots a big Mad Lummy pointing a cross bow at him and thinks “Ha, there no way she can hit me from ther..”. His thoughts are interrupted by a meaty thunk as a exploding heavy cross bow bolt takes him between the eyes and his corpse slumps to the ground.

At the secret door the White Witch lets loose a cone of cold at Drummy (and incidentally takes out a small Mad Lummy) and Hobbler charges in.

At the base of the Tower Whizz says “You know I think we may have miscalculated as there is no reason for the them to come through that booby trapped door.” “I agree” says Whizz, “as do I” says Whizz. The amulet is quickly removed from the door and the Whizz’s and Moonbeam charge into the Great Hall

Whizz snaps a shot off with the crossbow and across the hall a large Mad Lummy's head explodes as the heavy exploding cross bow bolt impacts he tosses the cross bow to one side and charges (as nest he can into the fray).

Back at the secret door Hobbler charges towards Drummy and attempts to backstab her only to find to his horror that she is faster than even him. A small patch of yellow ice forms at Hobblers feet.

There is a cry of “Incoming” from Lexx (acting as a dwarven shield for the Whtie Witch) as a yet another cone of cold is unleashed at Drummy. Unfortunately Hobbler, fast and as dexterous as he is get's clipped by the cone and hits the floor in a cold and frost bitten lump.

The real Whizz charge into combat as an Uber magic missile (what the hell is this new spell called) punches through his shield and armour and drops him to the floor unconscious.

One of the Big Whizz’s takes on a big Mad Lummy and promptly loses his right arm. Whilst the Mad Lummy is busy doing this Moonbeam has time to wind up for a decent hit and crushes her head in one mighty blow. Moments later he reaches down and hits Whizz with Mooners ring of healing and Whizz is back on his feet.

Back at the balconies Sunbeam and Sandy fire off the last two exploding cross bow bolts (which impact and explode on the armbands). These in conjunction with a cone of cold from the White Witch see Drummy (attempt to escape with a fly spell) hit the ground.

Almost everybody then starts to charge towards Drummy to finish her off. The one person who isn’t is Lexx who finds a big and extremely upset big Mad Lummy nearing down on him.

“Speed sword give me speed dammit” he mutters as he puts in a blow that beheads the Mad Lummy a split second before she has a chance to hit him.

30 June 2010

With Drummy dead, everyone considered their next move. The sound of battle could be heard dimly in the castle courtyard beyond as the good animals under Ekrand attacked.

Those on the floor below, regarded Drummy's corpse.

"Mine!" screamed the white witch, lunging for Drummy's body and the goodies it held.

Lex and Whizz saw their opportunity and moved up behind her with swords readied. The white witch saw Whizz coming from one eye and swung about to face him, just as Lex put every iota of his strength into swinging the Vorpal blade into her neck. Her head flew off her body and bounced off a nearby wall. Cold energy burst out of her dying fingers brushing Whizz and Kobbler, before her body collapsed alongside Drummy's.

“Oh well, so much for the non-aggression pact we had” mutters Whizz.

Amy quickly stripped Drummy's body of all valuables finding a long-sword, three rings, a green glowing pendant, a chain-mail bikini, a lion-skin cloak and the wonder woman bracelets.

Upstairs, Sunbeam released Dr Bob from the wall of ice by waving the anti-magic shell at it.

Nate was found against a wall, his head blown off, but still clutching the staff of power with a death grip.

"Say," said Dr Bob. "The staff is glowing and his brains appear to be regenerating. Ooh, it's like an all you can eat buffet."

Dr Bob pulled out a small silver spoon and began dipping and munching.

“Dr Bob stop that.” orders Amy.

“Say isn’t that Ekrand down there, talking to a cute Beaver?” asks Dr Bob voice slightly muffled due to a mouthful of brains.

Whilst Amy is suitably distracted Dr Bob grabs another few mouthfuls and fills a “dogy bag” for later.

Around the floor all the converted Lummys and Whizzes began softening and reverting to their original animal forms. The two giant Whizzes reverted to confused and angry looking minotaurs, but were stopped from taking out their anger by the main doors flying open and Ekrand and a mass of other animals rolling in.

When it was discovered that both Drummy and the white witch were dead, the animals cheered ecstatically and began a frenzied celebration at the coming end of winter. It was muted a few minutes later when the animals realised that the lion-skin cloak belonged to Aslan.

"Never mind," said Ekrand. "...A 10th level priest, a regeneration and a resurrection and he'll be right as rain."

A group of beavers reported a few seconds later, saying that the stairs up to the main tower were blockaded and a number of broad-bean charged goblins and humans were manning it. The beaver indicated that one of the humans appeared to be Lex.

Lex licked his lips. "Pass me the Recna necklace," he said.

Dr Bob decided to negotiate for the party. He made his way to the stairs and called out. "Who speaks for you?"

"Me, Licks," growled a voice that sounded just like Lex.

"Drummy is dead," said Dr Bob. "This is a one time offer so listen up, all but Licks can surrender and leave unharmed if you wish. You have five minutes."

“Then what” snarls Licks

‘We send up a Fireball, Lightening Bolt and a Cone of Cold.” Replies Dr Bob

Dr Bob and Lex settled down to wait. "Kill him," Lex muttered repeatedly under his breath.

Around four minutes later Lex felt power flood through him from the Recna focus. "Yay," he said. "The evil Licks is dead."

The group returned to the barricade and found that Lex was correct. The Bahn mercenaries and Uber Goblins pass down the corpse of Licks and then slowly make there way down the stairs.

“Say” asks Dr Bob looking at the Goblins “are any of you virgins?”

“I might be” replies one of them looking at Dr Bob with a glem in its eye.

“In that case have I a treat for you. Ekrand over here, bet you’ve never had a Goblin before.”

“Nooooooooo!” screams Amy

Ekand and the Goblin make there way into an unoccupied chamber. After about 15 minutes Ekand and the Goblin (now wearing nifty riding spurs) return.

The group then advanced up the stairs past the barricade and found a green shimmering force wall covering the stairwell. It was the same colour as the green pendant Drummy had been wearing.

Lex put the pendant on and was able to move effortlessly through the force wall. Everyone then formed a conga line behind Lex and followed him in.

Behind the force wall, the group found the machine. It looked different to the other one - more mechanical - with lots of cogs and wheels.

Luke was summoned from his box and he spent five minutes studying the machine in silence - growing more agitated, worried and afraid as he thought.

"We're screwed," he said finally. His face fell. "Well Amy literally and by an improbably large range of creatures, but the rest of us figuratively. Why oh why didn't you shut the first machine down properly."

Over the next few minutes Luke explained that the party is nearly out of time. This machine looks like it is due to go off in around 7-8 days. When the party blew up the first machine rather than turning it off properly, it created various portals and time bubbles. Just as this second machine is in its own time bubble running at a different speed to the rest of the universe, it appears that the third machine is also in its own time bubble – running at a third speed. This machine is due to go off in eight days. The third machine is no longer synched to it and he doesn’t know whether time is going faster or slower where the third machine is. “It might go off in six days, or ten. I just don’t know. It could possibly be less than six days, or more than ten.”

He then went on to explain the options as he saw them.


- If he turns this machine off and the other machine goes off, there’s a 50% chance reality will stay as it currently is with Yog Sosoth (and Yugo) dominant and 50% it will reset to normal. (“The other machine may not have the power to hold this universe together by itself – in which case it’ll snap back to normality.”)
-If he leaves this machine on, but resets it to a close but slightly different reality (rather than 50% on all settings, maybe 49% faith to reason, and 51% order to chaos) and the other machine goes off, then there’s a 25% chance reality will settle on the current reality, 50% it will return to normal or close to normal and 25% it will either shift to something else (definitely not good for Yugo, but also possibly not good for reality)
-If he leaves this machine on, but resets it to a close but different reality and the party turn off the other machine, there’s a 50% chance reality will reset to normal and 50% it will shift to something different (definitely not good for Yugo, but possibly not good for reality – though better than for the option directly above).
-If he turns this machine off and the party are successful in turning the other machine off, reality has a 90% chance of resetting to normal and a 10% chance of staying as is.

The party won’t know what will happen until the third machine goes off.

If the party reset the second (current) machine and leave it on, then Luke will be stuck in his dimensional octahedron until the third machine goes off. He will be able to do limited signalling from inside the box – eg, a countdown when the party reaches the correct time bubble, and rough direction (“Plus or minus a bit”)

Under all options the fact that all three machines will have gone off at different times means there is also a chance that all outcomes will result in more localised reality eddies/bubbles/dimensional overlaps will be created - permanent and temporary.

The group debated between the options at length and eventually settled on a fifth way - leaving Sunbeam and Luke back with this machine and the crystal ball, able to implement any of the four options at short notice depending upon how the party was doing in getting to and shutting down the third machine.

With that decision made, the group (sans Sunbeam) moved out quickly.

There were several Pegasus who were able to fly those with shorter legs or injuries (Amy, Dr Bob and Nate) to the portal point out of Narnia, while the rest of the party hitched rides on various talking animals.

By the time the rest of the party caught up with Amy and Nate, Amy had gained six points of flying lore from a very friendly Pegasus. With unquestioning certainty and the twisted support of Dr Bob, Amy's Ewok form morphed into that of a little fat fairy with tiny little wings. For some reason, she also had black and yellow stripes and a bee's stinger. The wings beat furiously against the air, but she was only able to jump a little higher until more fervent belief led to a larger set of wings allowing Amy to rise 5-10 feet in the air.

The group spent three days working through the lands from the white witch's castle to the palisade back in the prime material plane. Over that time, they identified the various items recovered from Drummy. The wonder-woman bracelets were determined to carry out automatic missile deflection - whether you want to or not. The longsword was a +3 to hit and damage blade. There was a ring of protection from cold, and two rings of spellstoring - one of which had a shield spell in it and the other a whole lot of one-touch healing. The dagger was Drummy's Recna focus and was found to contain more than 50 points of permanent power.

The group had only been back in the prime material plane an hour when they were ambushed by two archers. Kobbler (with wonder woman's bracelets) batted one arrow away unconsciously, while the other arrow missed. Both assailants were quickly taken down and were found to be adventurers looking to cash in on the Temple of Yugo reward of 5000 gold per party member killed.

"We'd better keep a careful watch out as we travel," said Whizz unnecessarily.

28 July 2010

The group travelled north until they rejoined the road, then turned east on the road leading towards the Caves of Chaos, Grism's Temple, Millpond and the Village of Garion

They stayed the first night at the first village - still empty after Drummy's sweep through three to four weeks ago. As the group travelled, Amy used all her power to cast permanent convincing illusions on the party. She became an elderly crone and Dr Bob and Moonbeam became distinguished older gentlemen

The next day brought them through another empty village and then the village of Cord - a small settlement of maybe fifty souls. There was a wanted poster for the party from Joan at the Temple of Yugo in Millpond in the centre of the village and, anticipating this, only Nate and Sandy (not mentioned on the reward notice), Amy, Dr Bob and Moonbeam entered. The others travelled around the village.

In the village, the group learned little of interest, other than the roads were currently untravelled. When they tried leaving, a small group of villagers armed with improvised weapons tried to stop them, but were quickly dispersed by Nate threatening them with a jolly good fireballing. To make his point, he set the roof of one of the houses alight and the group departed while the village set about dousing it.

The group approached the area around the Caves of Chaos later that afternoon. Amy sensed power ahead and the party stopped and took cover while she used her eye to scout the terrain. She detected a shadow watcher standing staring down the road towards the party. It had not detected the party and so she was able to lead them directly away from the path in a large semi-circle around the Caves. Two more watchers were detected and avoided and the party was forced to make camp about half way around the Caves when night finally fell and the initial attempt to travel by light stones in the dark resulted in alarm horns being sounded in the distance.

Amy covered the party in an illusion and the group settled down for the night with no light, no fire and careful watches. At one point in the night, goblins leading huge wolves were detected sniffing their way along the terrain - but the wind and luck was in the party's favour and they were undetected. Later in the night a long line of goblins spaced 5m apart walked the ground - passing right by the party without detecting them. A shadow Whizz was seen leading them.

When morning arrived, a tired party moved out and quickly put the Caves of Chaos well behind them.

They reached the ford at the river mid-afternoon and decided to bypass Grism's temple until after they had dealt with High Priestess Joan at Millpond.

Knowing that Sandy was a Yugo worshipper, he was despatched to scout the road ahead to the Village of Garion and to stop at the village of Barton Mews (Jill/Vull's home).

The group then made their move on the Yugo temple.

Kobbler set a fire in a house on the far side of the village and the party watched as the village was roused to fight it and four guards left the Yugo temple to assist. The two guards left on duty at the temple were both taken down by backstabs from Lex and Kobbler - rendered invisible by Amy's grease.

The group then moved quickly into the temple - moving from room to room, surrounded by a bubble of silence cast on a small stone, dispatching pretty boy minions of Joan as they encountered them, or bypassing them where possible.

They reached the small antechamber leading to Joan's private quarters and Kobbler, once again, found 24 hours of his memory wiped. "Hey, where's the forest gone? Where am I?" he cried, staggering back.

Amy checked the room with the striped mirror and found all the runes. She also found that the room was being illuminated by a single light stone with a small cover that could be flicked over it to remove illumination from the runes.

The group turned out the light and passed safely through the ante-chamber into an audience hall beyond. Two surprised guards were quickly cut down - mouths screaming, but unheard in the area of the silence spell. The group then pushed through into Priestess Joan's personal chamber.

She was in there with a pretty boy and a horse.

"Dear god," gasped an appalled Moonbeam.

"My eyes!" cried Whizz reeling back and turning green.

"Dilettante!" exclaimed Amy dismissively.

Nate and Amy both fire-balled Joan and consorts simultaneously and followed up with magic missiles and a fire arrow. The pretty boy expired instantly and a surprised and singed horse let out a nervous neigh. Joan gasped her last a moment later and Amy smiled happily as she felt power pour into her from the Reckna focus.

The room was quickly looted. Several powerful Yugo artefacts were located and destroyed. The only other item of interest was a corset for a small (1m or less) woman of robust build. Amy pulled it on and found her Strength instantly augmented.

The group then quickly retraced their steps back out of the temple. They checked that the villagers were all still occupied putting out the fire and left the village towards Garion and the third machine.

4 August 2010

The group set off towards the village of Garion where they believed the third machine was located. They bypassed the village of the ghouls and drove off a group of ghouls, when Whizz seized little Vull by the scuff of his neck and brandished him at the undead – commanding them to “Begone in HIS name!”

The group reached the village of Barton Mews at the end of the first day’s travelling. Little Vull was returned to his grateful parents and the group stayed the night with the family.

The next day brought the group back out into the broken rocky ravines and mountainous lands. They had only travelled a few miles when the massive worm-like Shudde-Mal appeared on the trail ahead of them with his five ghoul mouthpieces.

He informed them that the third machine had dropped into a parallel pocket universe at the same time the second machine had done the same. The third machine was also at the bottom of three nested pocket universes which the party would need to traverse. He said that the entrance to the first of the parallel dimensions was through the gate the party had previously used to travel between the prime material plane and Jacksons Bay in New Zealand. He also indicated that the distance and direction between this portal and the two subsequent portals would be identical. If the Jackson bay portal was 25 miles due south of the village of Garion, then the next portal would be 25 miles due north of wherever the group emerged.

The group grumbled and muttered, and decided to cut across country directly towards the Jackson Bay portal.

After choosing some rather difficult paths, they encountered a parallel universe version of Bent Rootsucker. Here he was wearing a natty outfit of leaves and a penis gourd.

In return for committing degradations on various party members, Bent cheerfully guided them across the lands direct to the portal point.

The group passed through and found themselves back in what appeared to be New Zealand and Jackson’s Bay. A closer examination revealed a number of important differences, however. The Jackson Bay settlement did not exist – there was just one farm in the bay below. And, the workshop into which the portal had previously exited was now wholly steam driven with a large steam engine shed adjacent.

The group checked their compass and found that the world appeared to have rotated 90 degrees. South was now east and it appeared their path lay somewhere inside the Southern Alps.

A map of New Zealand was found in the workshop. It appeared no more than a few years old, but the cartography appeared to belong more to the early 20th Century. New Zealand was called the Confederated States of New Zealand. The group traced due south on the map and decided that their destination was somewhere around a valley between two mountains – named Roaring Swine Creek.

Lex, who had grown up on the coast, knew of it. “There are old mine workings there. Coal, I think.”
The group considered the map and decided that the best route was along the coast to Haast, then inland along the Haast River – using a road marked on the map.

They set out and followed a faint wagon track up the coast towards Haast.

After a few miles they observed smoke out to sea and, before long, a full battleship appeared moving up the coast. It appeared to resemble a European-style pre-dreadnought with massive naval guns mounted on turrets, smaller swivel guns mounted around the hull and tall masts with three smokestacks. The smokestacks were belching black coals smoke.

From further up the coast, there was a flash, followed seconds later by a chest thumping crump of high explosive.

The ship swivelled its guns and a short one-sided battle took place between the naval guns and the shore based gun. The shore-based gun stopped firing after a few salvos from the ship and the ship soon housed its own guns and resumed its course up the coast.

A couple of miles further on, the group encountered the target of the ships guns. A massive land tank lay partly toppled and split open beside the road. It must have stood nearly three stories tall with a single eight inch naval gun and a half dozen or so five inch guns studded around it.

The thirty or so crew lay dead around it. Half were in a basic uniform with shoulder tags marked ‘Cockburn Gold Mining Company’ and the other half were in basic tweed and cotton clothes that looked like they came from around 1900. Most of those in uniform had cutlasses or sabres and there were any number of percussion-type pistols and muskets lying scattered about.

The group looted clothes and weapons and stowed their own armour and possessions away for travel. Between the bodies, the group also recovered 30 British Pounds and an assortment of shillings and pence.

They then continued on towards Haast.

Night as the town came into sight and so they used some of the money to purchase food and a billet in a barn from a friendly farmer. They learned from him that the mining consortia controlled these lands and the wealth from the Coast’s gold and coal meant they were as powerful as the federal government in Auckland. He warned the party about messing with the private armies of the mining companies and also to look out for the bands of unemployed prospectors and minors that had come to the coast seeking wealth.

The group entered Haast the next day. It was a town of several thousand people surrounded with sandbagged wooden walls. The group purchased a flat-bed traction engine with their remaining money and, after a quick lesson in driving it, set off up the road into the mountains towards their destination.

The trip into the mountains was broken by several encounters. First there was a massive iron land train they gave way to. It was mounting various armaments and had three huge sections that filled the road. It rumbled past and the group saw written on its side; “Kingstown to Northport Express”.

A mile further on, the group fought off a couple of opportunistic prospectors and then rumbled past the entrance to the Cockburn gold mines.

When they reached the Roaring Swine Creek valley, they found it barricaded with signs indicating it was the property of the Rich Black Mining Company.

Dr Bob charmed the group past the guards by saying the party was delivering a new truck for the mines and that they were to deliver it to the overseer personally.

Once past the barricades, the group rumbled up the valley and eventually reached an area where there were a range of mining buildings, vehicles and mine entrances.

Whizz concentrated and pointed at the mouth to one of the mines. “That one. The portal is down there and not far.”

Nate used his staff of power to create an earth elemental and set it to lumber around distracting the miners while the group slipped into the indicated mine entrance.

Whizz led the group to an otherwise unremarkable spot on one wall. He then concentrated and the group were soon able to see a patch of light several metres across.

The group quickly stepped through and paused blinking on the other side.

They were in an arid landscape of sand and broken rocky bluffs.

25 August 2010

Once through the portal, the group found themselves in a long rocky ravine with a floor of sand. The temperature was uncomfortably hot, but with very little humidity.

“Graaah ooeeeho ahahahaaa,” moaned Lex. The party realised he was a wookie again and both Kobbler and Amy had converted to full ewoks.

“Uh huh,” said Dr Bob knowingly. “We’re back in the Star Wars universe. Probably Tatooine”.

Several of the group - Dr Bob, Amy, Whizz and Moonbeam could all sense the force and they experimented with it with varying degrees of success. Everyone had coarse control, but no one could do anything more than move stones.

Dr Bob used the force to lift Amy so she could see the top of the stone cliff above. She let out a little "Jub jub," as she beheld two suns in the sky, and an undulating mass of rocky ravines and valleys stretching far off to one side. The ravine she was in ran more than ten miles in both directions. It sloped gently upwards. The highest point terminated in mountains and the lowest point ran out into what appeared to be a massive desert. A large mass of something – possibly a city was visible through a heat haze just inside the desert. A long line of mountains were visible running parallel with the ravine off to the left.

Amy could also see something moving up the ravine towards the party. It was perhaps a mile away.

She dropped down and reported – waving a little spear to punctuate her description of the surrounding landscape.

The group decided to head downwards – keeping in the cover of the sheltered side of the ravine.

They travelled for nearly 20 minutes before Kobbler detected what appeared to be the heads of two Banthas tethered behind a giant rock on the far side of the ravine.

As he indicated the elephantine creatures, shots rang out. Two Tuskan raiders atop the same giant rock opened up with rifles, and another half dozen ran from the back of the rock and began charging across the ravine floor firing wildly. Another half dozen raiders appeared ahead of the party on the same side of the ravine – also calling out in their strange tongue and firing blasters and projectile weapons as they belted full tilt towards the party.

Kawhoomph went Nate’s full strength fireball and the Tuskan Raiders on the same side of the ravine collapsed burning and screaming.

The rest of the party opened up with their more primitive percussion cap rifles while those with the force used it to rip weapons from the hands of the raiders.

Seeing they were outmatched, the raiders turned tail and fled. As the party charged across the ravine, the raiders threw themselves on to the Banthas and lumbered off down the ravine and out of range of the party. The party looted the bodies and recovered several blasters and long rifles.

The party reorganised themselves and set off again. Half an hour later, an imperial star destroyer was seen moving slowly over the landscape – possibly ten miles up. Three transports dropped from its belly and descended down towards the city at the end of the ravine.

Another hour passed and the group beheld Imperial patrol approaching. It comprised two storm-troopers on a giant lizard.

Most of the party hid in a crevice in the wall of the ravine, whereas Sandy partially buried himself in the sand of the ravine floor.

As the storm-troopers passed by, they saw Sandy and drew blasters.

A short gun battle later, one of the storm troopers was dead and the other surrendered.

The storm troopers all turned out to be Sandy clones and proved rather easily distracted, prone to being overly literal and rather chaotic in thinking.

“What was the empire thinking using these as their soldiers?” Dr Bob wondered.

Whizz replied. “They don’t mind being cannon fodder and they’ll believe any explanation you give them about what’s going on.”

The group took the storm-trooper’s rifles, money and water, but left everything else behind (except for Sandy who lingered behind when everyone else moved out, and looted himself a full set of storm-trooper armour).

The group reached the end of the ravine just as one of the suns was setting in the sky. The spaceport of Mos Eisley lay before them and they entered trying not to draw too much attention by gaping at the myriad of creatures and droids walking the streets.

The group made their way to a tavern in the middle of the town and set about earning a few more imperial credits by various permutations of wookie/ewok sex and ewok/ewok sex.

Mos Eisley lay around 25 miles from the portal point and the group suspected that the second portal might be somewhere in the city. They walked the streets once the second sun set, with Whizz trying his best to sense a portal anywhere nearby without success.

Kobbler slipped away from the group when he saw a couple of thieves pickpocket someone. He followed them through a number of darkened alleyways to a non-descript doorway. He followed them in and was robbed himself after trying to inquire about the location of the nearest portal.

The group returned to the inn and tried to work out their next move.

Dr Bob procured a map from the barkeeper and the group studied it.

They estimated where they had appeared on the map and did a rough conversion into miles to work out a circle marking possible locations for the second portal. The circle ran through Mos Eisley, but also ran around the mountain range Amy had seen previously and through a spot on the map marked as ‘Jabba’s Palace (aka - B’Omarr Monastery)’.

“That’ll be where we want to go, Dr Bob observed.

Preparations were made. Dr Bob hired a landspeeder, then returned to the bar where he purchased a kick-ass super-duper, vastly over-powered assault rifle.

1 September 2010

The group piled into the land speeder, which settled to a few inches above the ground and graunched over the first bump.

The plan was amended and the group decided to make their way to Jabba's palace in three trips - stopping a safe distance from the palace and walking the rest of the way.

Dr Bob drove three people at a time. The route took them along the base of the mountains with blinding white desert on the other side. He stopped adjacent to what appeared to be a crater out in the desert around 300m from the trail along the mountains.

The journey was repeated twice more before all the party were together again.

As the third trip was underway, a flying platform was seen approaching the waiting party members from towards Jabba's palace. There were ten figures on it; six guards and four bound prisoners. The platform turned away from the mountainside about a kilometre from the party and made its way to the crater. It passed through a gap in the crater wall and stopped above what would have been the centre of the crater. A plank was run out the side of the platform and, through binoculars, the party couild see prisoners being threatened and interrogated at length.

A prisoner was marched off the plank after about twenty minutes and fell screaming out of sight.

"I know what this is," said Moonbeam. "It's the Great Pit of Carkoon - the pit that holds the Sarlacc - the pit with the beast that Luke and Han were going to be fed to during Return of the Jedi."

The group continued watching for another hour, until finally the three remaining prisoners were also dropped off the plank and the flying platform (now named the Skiff) turned about and set off back along the mountains.

The group took some time to then discuss their plan for getting into Jabba's palace. It was eventually agreed that Dr Bob would pose as a smuggler looking to move into the Hutt markets and wanting to discuss a cut for Jabba. To sweeten the deal, it was agreed that he would have the two ewoks and the wookie 'entertain' Jabba with various lewd acts.

With that decided, the party set off. They walked another ten kilometres before the road began to wind up a steep mountainside towards the palace above. The palace comprised a giant mushroom like tower surrounded by several spires. Arrow-slit like windows in the rock beneath the towers suggested the palace descended into the mountain itself. The road terminated at a massive doorway set into the main tower.

As the group approached a mechanical eye on a stalk emerged from the door and demanded to know what they wanted. Dr Bob outlined his reason for being there and the eye told him to wait while Jabba's major-domo, Bib Fortuna, was summoned.

A few minutes later the door ground open revealing a humanoid creature with a huge trunk like protuberance on his head. He listed to Dr Bob's explanation and offer of ewok/wookie entertainment. "Yes I will take you to the mighty Jabba," he said finally. "But all weapons and anything that looks like a weapon will be surrendered to the guards at the gate and any you bring in for entertainment will entertain the mighty Jabba, but not necessarily the way you imagine."

Dr Bob considered that. He had seen Star Wars and knew about the Rancor beast in the pit beneath Jabba's throne room.

"Umm, give us fifteen minutes to consider this," he said.

The major domo agreed and departed.

The group decided that they could not afford to make this their attempt on the portal. They would need their weapons in the third and final realm through the portal. As such, it was agreed that Dr Bob would continue to see Jabba, with the ewoks and wookie and Whizz, but that the others would remain behind. The goal would simply be to see if Whizz could locate the portal.

Fifteen minutes became thirty before the Major Domo appeared again. He led Dr Bob and the others through the door and down a gigantic stone corridor to a flight of wide stairs at the end leading down to Jabba's audience hall.

It looked just like the movie. The massive slug-like Jabba was on a throne on a raised dais. The hall was full of a myriad of unsavoury looking aliens, dancers and musicians.

As he entered, Whizz detected the portal somewhere down below - at the edge of his senses - so perhaps fifty feet below.

Dr Bob conducted the negotiations through an interpreter droid and offered to supply giant bunny dropping chocolate. He demonstrated its efficacy by offering it to an oversized green alien with bulging muscles and a face similar to that of a wart-hog. Seconds later the alien was humping ewok Amy much to mighty Jabba's amusement. Jabba offered to buy as much as Dr Bob could supply and Dr Bob was escorted out.

The party then set about surreptitiously scouting out the palace surrounds looking for a way in. They discovered there were only two entrances - the main doorway where people walked in, and a garage where the skiff and Jabba's barge presumably entered and exited. Both were armoured and the whole palace was sealed tight as a fortress.

After further discussion, the group decided the best way in was to return to the Great Pit of Carkoon and wait for Jabba's thugs to reappear on the skiff with more prisoners for the Sarlacc. They would then take the guards down, steal their outfits and return to Jabba's palace in guard's place.

The group spent that night huddled in rocks at the base of the mountain and set up ready for the ambush the next day. Sandy donned the Imperial Stormtrooper outfit and parked up near the crater. The rest of the party remained in cover three hundred meters away in the shelter of rocks at the base of the mountains.

A slave train came by a few hours after day break. The hours passed slowly after that until early afternoon when the skiff appeared again - shadowing the line of the mountains before making a direct line for the crater.

Sandy waved the skiff down and it stopped a dozen metres past him. There were two prisoners and six guards. One guard remained with the prisoners, while the other guards stepped down from the skiff and went to assist Sandy.

Amy used the last of her power at that point to cast a group-invisibility. Under cover of this, the group charged out across the sand - while Sandy kept the guards distracted.

The group arrived without detection. As Kobbler and Lex unsuccessfully backstabbed the guard on the skiff - reducing him to semi-consciousness, Dr Bob opened up on full auto with his super weapon - dropping three of the other guards and Sandy in an impressive fireworks display. Whizz and Moonbeam quickly dropped the final two guards.

The battle was over in the round it began - the party having been completely successful in their surprise attack.

They healed Sandy, freed the prisoners and interrogated the surviving guard. The surviving guard was able to tell them of the 'door clicker' on the skiff that would open the garage door into the palace and of the route through the palace from the garage to the nearest flight of stairs down to the monastery part of the temple.

The party stripped the guards and donned their outfits. Dr Bob experimented with manoeuvring the skiff.

Once everyone was ready, the party loaded all their possessions onto the skiff and set off towards Jabba's palace.

08 Sept 2010

Day of the Sandies

1- infiltrate Jubba the Hutt's Fortress with the commandeered flying ship enter the Fortress via the vehicle bay entrance. Sandie2 is convinced to 'secretly' advise every Sandie on the helmet comm of a party at Jubba's with prizes for the gnarliest vehicle, and free booze for all.

Splat - squash a Troll guard against the wall with the ship

Zap - everyone shoots the other Troll guard dead

2- access the ante room via the droid workshop. An offensive looking droid with 4 weapons (and arms to shoot them) lines up on Nate and Kobbler. Nate takes a glancing shot and is dead. Kobbler is luckier and is missed entirely. Party shoots the bot dead under a hail of laser fire. Nate has the staff of regeneration shoved up his arse to regenerate him, and Dr. Bob is convinced not to decapitate him to cut down on weight.

3- access the room at the bottom of the stairs. Everyone piles into the room at the bottom leading to the Monastery, but it's a small cubicle with no exits. No - one believes him, but Moonbeam alone can see his way to the only door and go through. He communes with the "sentient beings" on the 'other side' and negotiates for us all to be allowed through the door.

4- The deep passage portal throughfare is negotiated. The "sentient beings" turn out to be brains in jars who have 'eschewed' their physical forms. (So who puts them in their jarz then? We negotiate passage through their holiest of holies to the portal and the next realm.

The next realm is COLD. Sandie2 is sent through to scout a couple of KM's in one direction while the others wait in relative comfort on the other side with the "brains". Information is shared brain to brain. The headjars are left with much to think about! And many new sexual experiences (AMY) physical Zombie taste sensations (DR BOB) and Mental/Elder Godly experiences (KOBBLER)

5- Sandie2 goes tropo (some more). Sandie2 wanders into the frozen white landscape using dead reckoning and visual orienteering. On the way he spots a trio of wild doggies with huge teeth and lots of hair. Knowing the party need warmth to access this realm he goes into hunting mode, and bellys up to shooting range of the beasts. Bad roll, he’s discovered, they charge. He shot one just before the charge and wounded it significantly. He shots another dead while it charges. The third fails to damage Sandie, or knock him down. Sandie2 hugs and lasers it to death. He then skins the beasts for the party. Diversion over, he proceeds with the mission of walking 2Km out to scout, and return.... on Dr Bobs suggestion he occasionally uses all three of the built in headset comm frequencies to transmit a 'MayDay".

6- “Sandies, free yourselves from oppression!” Sandie2 observes a bright flying brick descend over the horizon in the direction he was scouting in. He reports back to the party. They do not like his beast fur, and send him upstairs to the riotous party to collect warm clothing or even more stormtrooper outfits as they are part environment suits, part combat suits.

Sandies dons a beast fur to cover his 3 chest holes from Dr Bob. He has a successful foray and returns quickly with some warm gear, but far from enough. While upstairs he used the comm to suggest that the Sandies rise up against the oppressive officers and free themselves from tyranny.

7- Sandie2 gets in line. On his second foray Sandie2 becomes much more cagey and looks around corners before boldly walking out. The officers are lining up (wobbly/drunken) Sandies and giving them orders. Sandie2 is ordered into line, then told his outfit shows he is from Mos Eisly and he is ordered to return to base immediately. He salutes (badly) to indicate his compliance, and proceeds to go forage for more warm gear for the party. He discovers some fornicating Sandies (with each other) and upon their 'discovered' looks orders them to carry on, grabbing as much of their armour as he could.... later in another room he finds enough useful stuff to return to the party.

On the way he spouts more Sandie unionist propaganda to overthrow the officer class, and hears satisfactory disgruntled comments from the officers.

8- Imagine if there was NO Empire. Sandie taunts the officers to come to the small room in the lower level, “pussies can’t hurt me”, etc... Some Sandys come down to the small room, having been ordered to investigate. They are slaughtered, and Sandie2 gains points of permanent power.... ooohh what a rush! The jar brains are unhappy that we are calling unwelcome attention to them, whereupon Sandie2 launches into a diatribe monologue inviting them to imagine if there was no Empire because all the Sandies had risen up, revolted, overthrown the Empire, and assumed normal productive lives as everyday citizens instead of the army of an evil overlord. The brains didn't buy it.

9- Everything empties into White. The party rugged up and headed through the portal into the frozen, white, barren, bleakness of a cold unknown world.

15 September, 2010

The group travelled slowly across the landscape. It was nothing but broken undulating rock, covered in deep snow and ice. They encountered occasional tracks of dogs and other larger creatures, but saw nothing living at all.

As the tiny sun was setting around eight hours after the party set out, the group formed a snow cave and spent the night uninterrupted.

The next day the group resumed their journey. As they got to within a few hours of their destination, they saw another shuttle descend from space above and land roughly where they were headed. It only remained on the ground for around twenty minutes then returned back up the way it had come.

The group now knew exactly where they were going and, when they reached the spot where the shuttle had touched down, found a large rectangular landing pad around 20m by 40m with metal spikes topped with red glow-lights at all four corners.

Tracks showed that a dozen or more creatures had disembarked from the shuttle and had stood around for some time in the snow, before moving to a point at the edge of the landing pad where it appeared there was a large trapdoor built into a 45 degree rocky bank in the snow – about 4m across and 3m deep.

The group decided to attack. Amy made herself & Kobbler invisible and they hid at the back of the trapdoor.

Lex positioned himself in the open.

Sandy and Moonbeam lined up with blasters from behind the cover of snow or rock with Nate alongside, while the others waited a little further back from behind a bank.

Kobbler then hammered on the trap door.

A minute passed then the door lifted open and disgorged 10 Klingon warriors with disrupter rifles. They emerged in pairs. Two pairs stayed by the door, while the others moved out efficiently covering the landscape and protecting each other.

“Aaargh,” said Lex theatrically, while staggering forward and pretending to be badly injured.

Amy & Kobbler slipped past the Klingons into the tunnel behind the door. It led down at a relatively shallow angle into a large circular chamber around 40 metres beyond.

On the surface, Nate released a fireball and dropped three of the Klingons. Sandy & Moonbeam opened up with their star wars blasters – though the power seemed muted.

Sandy & Moonbeam were quickly cut down by well-aimed disrupter blasts and fell unconscious in the snow. Nate fled back to the others who fled as a group back out into the icy landscape. Behind them, the angry Klingons gathered up Sandy, Lex and Moonbeam and called for reinforcements to search for other attackers.

Underground, Amy and Kobbler followed the tunnel to the large open circular space. It was a huge shaft around 40m across and 50m deep with five levels of tunnels running off it and each level crisscrossed with walkways.

There was one level above, which had Klingon guards positioned on walkways peering down at all movements below.

Amy only had enough power for a few minutes of invisibility and so, she and Kobbler went for the closest door. They found a barracks room where the Klingon guards had presumably come from to attack the party. There was coarse bread and gruel on the table and Amy hastily poisoned it.

She and Kobbler then returned back to the surface and took cover behind the open trapdoor just as the invisibility wore off.

The Klingons searched nearly 20 minutes before giving up and returning through the trapdoor and closing it behind them.

Whizz and the others returned to the landing pad and found Amy and Kobbler.

“Well that didn’t go as planned,” Whizz admitted.

“We should have taken more time to find out what we were up against,” Dr Bob conceded.

With that, the group settled down to watch the trapdoor from cover behind a rocky mound.

Hours passed and then another shuttle descended and landed on the pad. It disgorged around 10 figures – apparently prisoners from what appeared to be at least a half-dozen different races.

The figures were made to move away from the shuttle by disrupter wielding Klingons in the shuttle doorway and, when the prisoners were a safe distance, the shuttle hatch was closed and the shuttle lifted off.

The prisoners were left shivering in a huddled mass.

The group saw their opportunity. Anything that could be safely and easily hidden under clothing (or internally in the case of Nate’s staff) was hastily concealed. Larger items (eg armour & packs) were hidden in a snow drift.

The group then moseyed across the pad and joined the figures waiting there.

They waited around ten minutes before the trapdoor opened and a dozen Klingon guards emerged accompanying another older Klingon in a red robe.

The Klingons formed up the mass of prisoners so they were facing the older Klingon who then addressed them in common.

“Welcome to Rura Penthe,” he said. “You will die here – the only question is how long it will take. Look around you. There are no fences, no guards, no alarms. Just eternal ice and death. If you run, you will die. If you work and do nothing you should not, you will live – a while at least. Obey all instructions and you will not be killed. Disobey and you will die. Work and you will live.”

With that, the Klingons motioned the prisoners to move into the tunnel.

The prisoners were led down the tunnel into the large circular area and to an industrial sized lift. The lift took them to the bottom of the circular shaft where they found a mass of caves and mine shafts leading deeper into the planet’s crust below. There were crude billets everywhere and hundreds upon hundreds of slave prisoners representing dozens of races.

Dozens of well armed Klingon guards were positioned strategically around and above the prisoners keeping a bored watch.

The new arrivals were greeted with howls from the other prisoners. There were threats, jeers and other roars. The group were marched to a cave and told this was to be their new billet.

Moonbeam, Lex and Sandy were already there – badly beaten, but partially healed – stripped of all weapons and possessions other than the clothes they had arrived in.

22 September 2010 - End of Campaign

The group spent the next day, keeping a low profile and learning the routines of the mine. Each day lasted around 18 hours – with 12 hours in the mines, half an hour to gather and eat and the rest of the time for whatever the exhausted slaves wanted to do.

The main surprise was finding Bent Rootsucker providing sexual favours to the miners. He said he had been transported to this place, while in the forest outside the Caves of Chaos, leveling up a mage. This had happened about a week ago – roughly when the party had switched off the first machine.

He was able to provide some information about the mines. The Klingons were ruthlessly efficient in the operation of the mine and its slaves. A large section of the mine had been closed off about a week ago following some sort of battle. It had been the most valuable part of the mine according to the other slaves. He was able to confirm that all parts of the mine were sealed off with force walls that were turned on and off remotely from a control centre in some other part of the mine.

Bent gave the party background into the slaves. There were thousands in the mine – spread over a number of areas. This area was under the control of a Khardassian named Marac who had around thirty or forty minions and any number of other slaves under his influence. The adjacent slave area was under the control of another Gollum like creature named Kree. Marac & Kree had an uneasy truce.

Dr Bob sought advice from Luke via the crystal ball. The party learned that the third machine was down below – probably where the Klingons had closed off the mine.

During the party’s second meal time in the mine, they were approached by a small green scaly humanoid who offered the party a chance to ‘get in good’ with Marac. “All you’ve got to do is take out a big red guy by the name of Drull”.

Nate decided he didn’t want to negotiate with any second rate henchman, so offered the little green guy one of his daggers in return for a meeting with Marac. The henchman agreed to relay the message.

During the third meal time, the party were approached by a large Khardassian with a half dozen burley body guards. A negotiation took place and ended with the agreement that the party would take out Drull – who turned out to be Kree’s main enforcer. In return for this good deed, the Khardassian would call in a favour with some Klingon guards and arrange for the force walls between here and the sealed part of the mine to be turned off for a short period.

The party used the next rest period to locate Drull.

They found him working his way along a corridor accompanied by two guards, collecting tribute from the cowed slaves living along it. The group set up an ambush in a cave off the corridor – concealing themselves behind an illusion.

When Drull and his minions walked past, he was quickly cut down in a mass of sword thrusts and blows.

The group severed Drull’s head and carried it back to their own part of the mines. Lex and Kobbler were rendered invisible by Nate and they transported the head to Marac’s private chambers and left it on his pillow while the Khardassian slept.

The next day, looking clearly impressed, Marac let the party know that the force walls would go down in ten minutes and would stay down half an hour.

The party didn’t hesitate. They returned to where they had been sleeping and gathered up weapons then hastily made their way along the corridors to the first of the force walls. As they arrived, it shimmered and dissipated.

The party passed another three points where force walls were down, before their path brought them into a large open chamber. The chamber had red glow lamps strung along the walls, but these were dwarfed by a powerful pale green glow emanating from several passages off the main chamber.

The party made their way to the entrance to one of these passages. Along the passageway were the bodies of about twenty Bahn mercenaries. They were all dead – affixed to the wall with large metal spikes through their heads.

Visible at the end of the passage way was another chamber – the farthest wall apparently being a huge solid mass of dilithium. The pale green glow was emanating from this.

The third machine was visible – partly embedded in the dilithium wall. It was surrounded by a nearly invisible sphere of some sort of energy. The sphere was around five meters across and fully enclosed the machine.

A large tripod mounted laser of some sort was pointed at the sphere and blasting energy at it. Two Klingons were working it with their backs to the party.

The group crept up and cut the Klingons down from behind.

Dr Bob, then grabbed the laser and pointed it so the beam drilled into the dilithium. The result wasn’t quite what he had expected. The dilithium began sparking and a huge arc of energy sprung out of the wall and ran into the energy sphere. The sphere began to grow.

Most alarmingly, a bank of orange lights on the machine, began progressively turning red.

The group could see runes on the ground inside the sphere. They were now about two meters beyond the wall of the sphere.

The party began trying various other ways into the sphere. Whizz’s Vull-blest sword blade was able to effortlessly penetrate the energy field, but it didn’t give access and couldn’t reach the runes to scrub them out.

Eventually it was Lex who found the way into the sphere. He had drummy’s kryptonite pendant – the same pendant that had given access past the force wall protecting the second machine.

By wielding the pendant, he was able to pass through the energy wall without difficulty. By having everyone form a conga-line, he was able to get everyone into the sphere.

Dr Bob, then sought instructions from Luke via the crystal ball.

“Everyone must be touching the machine when it is turned off,” Luke instructed. “The power of the machine will work sort of like the pocket universe did for you last time – preventing you from being lost in this dimension when the universe resets.”

Everyone dutifully grabbed a part of the machine, while Luke talked Dr Bob through the sequence that turned the machine off.

With a whine, the light faded inside the machine and the universe twisted and roiled around itself.

A moment later the group found themselves standing in a small stone basement – still hanging on to the now lifeless machine. There was a single narrow flight of stone stairs going upwards and Mr Twinkles was sitting there watching the party and cleaning a paw.

A few seconds passed as the group gained their bearings then Mentoz stepped out of thin air on one side of the room and Merrin appeared with a sucking wrenching sound on the other side of the room moments later.

Mentoz was now a woman in a cocktail dress – but still with a large bulbous bald head. “Well done time agents,” she said. I don’t know exactly what has happened, but you appear to have carried out a mission at my instruction and have saved the universe. My automated systems report some major events have taken place, but everything now appears normal. The rule of six still works and the multiverse remains intact.

Mentoz make a small gesture and there is a pop as Sunbeam and Luke appear.

"Luke, I missed you so much .. " cries Amy as she rushes forward.

"Ahh" sigh Mentoz as she watches the loving re-union, which quickly turns to "urghhh" as Amy start snogging Luke.

"Ahh, Amy you DO know that's your son." says Mentoz, "You know the Uber Gnome fetus you left in my care, the one I raised as the son I never had, my little wunderkind, the one I sent back with specific instructions to seek you out as you would look after him."

"But, but" stammers Amy aka Jocasta, "why didn't you tell Luke beforehand."

"I wanted the reunion to be special" replies Mentoz.

"Oh, it definitly was that" comments Hobbler.

The group exchanged glances. Previously Mentoz had talked about the rule of five – the reason there had always been five resonance points off the caves of chaos punctuated by five portals and each of those had had five more resonance points in turn.

Merrin now spoke. “Things are different. The universe has changed – I feel it, even if I cannot say how. So much for the inevitability of death.” She sighed.

“You have all be corrupted,” she said. Now her gaze grew approving. “You and this plane are both corrupted. You are all flowing with an energy that just cannot and should not exist in this universe. Because of it, portals to and from this plane will be hazardous in the extreme and, in fact, this plane has softened and overlapped with countless other planes. It will be decades, maybe centuries before it comes right and I and others can travel to and from this place easily.”

“In the same way, you too will no longer be able to travel the planes. The energy that fills you makes that impossible. I can, with difficulty, transport you once and you will need to remain wherever I transport you.” She frowned. “Well, I suppose you could walk or ride, if you are into that sort of thing.” She wrinkled her nose disapprovingly.

“But that is no ending for those who have served so well.” She turned to Amy. “Sister, I have a world that needs a queen. Come with me and rule in my name.”

Amy ummed and ahhed but finally nodded. “Sure thing,” she said.

Merrin made a twisting gesture in the air and Amy was wrenched away.

“And you,” Merrin said to Dr Bob. “You have served well as my high priest. But, you will be wasted here – unable to commune with me, or channel my powers, or travel. Why don’t you give up your meaty flesh and assume the powers of a greater servitor. You will have power beyond comprehension and will spread chaos and madness in my name across the universe.”

Dr Bob’s eyes shone. “Count me in,” he said.

Merrin made another twisting gesture. Dr Bob’s form twisted and shifted to something vaguely dog like – but huge and glowing and full of power. The form, then narrowed and stretched, before disappearing somewhere with a sucking pop.

“And you,” said Merrin to Nate. “You too have served. I offer you the same.”

Nate accepted and was similarly transformed.

Merrin made the same offer to Kobbler and Lex, both of whom also accepted and who disappeared after Dr Bob and Nate.

Merrin then turned to those that remained. “What of the rest of you? I can leave you here in the prime material plane if you wish? Or, I can return you to the other realm that you have gained a foothold in – the Shire of Cryde.

Whizz spoke. “I will stay here. This realm will need governing. We can bring order and civilization to these lands. Who will join me?”

Sandy and Moonbeam raised hands.

Merrin turned to Sunbeam. “What of you?”

Sunbeam decided that he would make the Shire of Cryde his own personal domain and rule it with Botox’s protection.

Merrin gestured and he too was gone.

Merrin then indicated her gratitude with a nod and a grimace and disappeared.

Mentoz paused. “You’re on your own now. Plane travel will be impossible or at least extremely hazardous for a time, though all my information tells me that the lands around here now touch multiple planes and who knows what will spill through and need dealing with. I wish you all the best but until the energy fades from your bodies, you should avoid travelling them too widely yourself.”

And, with that, he/she too disappeared.

“Well, I guess that’s that,” said Whizz to Sandy and Moonbeam. “Let’s go to the keep and start getting this place in order.”

“I guess we’re not going to be able to much more exploring ourselves,” Moonbeam observed.

“Yup, guess we’ll be hiring some adventurers,” Whizz agreed.

• [Source]
• [History]
• 2011-12-01 07:00:42
• Owner: admin

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